Sell your soul for favourite quotes!

You know those shady love stories where you chase somebody for sooooo long and realise when you're taking saat pheras around the fire that you are actually in love with your best friend, who's cat also treats you like a part of the family. Yes *that* friend who's been around for so long that you can't even remember what life was like without him. And then you turn around one-eighty degrees, make a dramatic exit from your own wedding, red saree flowing, strands of hair flying, gold jewellery clanking, while the band-baja wala suddenly stops playing the shehnai. All the people stand up and look at you pretending to be surprised while they're actually wondering, 'Omg does the bride's exit mean, we get absolutely no free food?'

But that is not the point of this story. What happens is that right after the bride goes running out she gets into the first cab she finds and tells the cabbie to take her to the airport/ bus stop/ station where her best friend (secretly her lover) is leaving for a fake trip to Ghaziabad/ Ambala/ Tiruchirapalli to set up a papad factory. Just when the train arrives he sees her running dramatically towards him. He throws his bag and runs towards her in slow motion. In the next scene they're siting by the same fire, with the same pandit, the same psychobabble, and the same red saree (What a cheapskate the director is). The only different thing is that, there are no guests in this wedding. They already ate free food at the previous one. So they're basically not invited. 

Aye! Shady guests are trying to get crash this blog post again! Getting to the point.The favourite quotes section on Facebook has always been around, looking at me lovingly, affectionately and patiently, while I shamelessly ignored it and flirted with every other application there was. Now that I have rediscovered it's awesomeness, I'm taking this relationship to a whole new level.

I may sound uber cool as I throw phrases like 'a whole new level', but truth be told it is just another phrase for stalkerishness. Let me explain a typical conversation between me and my friend Parinita, from Improper Conduct (we have just entered into an It's complicated relationship on FB, btw).

Me: <Psychobabble at it's best>

Pari: HAHAHA!

Me: Favourite quotes? ^_^

Didn't get eeeet? Haw :O Let me explain.

Basically for every funny thing I say, I torture her to put it up in her favourite quotes section.

Currently, the success rate is 2 to 1,00,000. Yes, that funny and thaaaaat stalkerish I am.

Anywaaaaaay, so we're both walking to the station today and we're making a list of tacky things to do on my birthday (next blog post that =D ), so I suggest that we sit on the footpath and take shots. Every shot should be followed by a very tacky secret. Then I go on to explain with an example.

Me: Saaaay, when I was ten or something, I thought Suniel Shetty was hot. For a day.

Pari: Hahahahaha! Don't tell anyone my tacky secret.

Me: What? What? What?

Pari: When I was a kid, I thought Jitendra was hot! (And I laugh as I type this!)

Me: If and when I find you an item, I will ask him to dress in all white and ask you out! I will also get him to play a tacky Jitendra film song in the background!

When I told her about my very tacky secret, part of me was relieved because I finally got it out. Another part of me regretted it deeply. For once, *she* screamed 'favourite quotes!' and I wasn't sure if I wanted the world to know this about me. On the other hand, with my new found commitment to the favourite quotes section, it seemed stupid to let this opportunity go to waste. I was torn.

I decided to put my love interest first. Who cares what the world thinks when he is by my side? The quote must go up!

I was super worried she would change her mind by the time she got home. So I took control of the situation.

Enter: Reverse Psychology.

Me: You *cannot* put this up!

Pari: I *so* can!

Me: Pari, I will *die* of embarassment.

Pari: Yea, that is the point!!

Me: No, Pari, No!

Pari: Yes! Yes! Yes!

My plan worked like magic. By the time I came home, there I was, smiling back at me from her favourite quotes. That didn't make any sense, no? Well, as long as you know what I'm trying to say, you grammar whore!

Aaaaanyway, the point is, I am made of awesome and there is no denying that.

To explain this further, I'd like to cite another example.

I was talking to Pranav from For The Wine, yesterday and we were discussing our college festival and all the drama that comes with it.

Me: And N was telling me that M thinks, the fest is her pitajee ka property!

P: Haha! Yes, I've hearing the same thing over and over again.

Me: I was very offended when I heard that.

P: Ouch. Why?

Me: Chauvinism has sunk to every level! Why can't the fest be Matajee ka property?!

P: Hahahahahaha!

Me: Favourite quotes!

And awesomeness that he is, actually went and put my quote up there! Two three tear drops came rolling down my eyes.

Anywaaay, speaking of coolness, awesomeness, (insert 4-5 synonyms here), Parinita and I decided to tell you only half the truth! We conveniently changed some of our quotes to make them a little cooler than they sounded then.

Pari: Wait that didn't sound right!

Me: Oh yea!

Pari: (thinking deeply)

Me: Here's an idea.

Pari: Say say say!

Me: Let's rig our favourite quotes!

Pari: Hahaha! I'm not putting that up but!

Quarter life crisis and sexy-sexy (non-existent) boyfriends!

My pumpkin pies!

I think Quarter life crisis has struck me bad! While it's obviously one of the worst things to happen, a teeny tiny part of me, loves how filmy it makes my life sound. Well, Chic-flickish to be precise. So grab a bowl of popcorn and listen to me rant rather dramatically about why the feeling of dumpey-ness has been shamelessly following me around.

Well, I used to think I was the 'girl with the plan'. I'm suddenly not so sure anymore. If I don't spend the rest of my life writing, my soul will die and disintegrate. But if I spend my entire life only writing and nothing else, then my self worth with die and disentegrate. I will wake up every morning, feeling like a useless, worthless, potato of a person who has done nothing. Achieved nothing! So I have a long list of other things that I simply have to do. But the list is so long that I don't know how I'm going to do all of it. If I pay more attention to one, I'll feel like I'm neglecting the other. If I try to do the thing I'm neglecting, there will be some fifty other things biting me slowly at the back of my head leading to a serious cause of mental explosion. And if I try to do justice to all of them, my entire being will die and disintegrate. All that and more before I'm old enough to suffer from mid-life crisis!

Omg! This system! So much pressure! I don't even know what PG program I am going to do next year. Or which Universities I should be looking at. Should I even be doing a PG program next year or should I jump to join the first company that offers me an amazing job? Should I work and then study? Study and then work? Or should I work, study and handle being a bag-wali side by side?

What about money? Will I make enough to live the life of a splurgina? Will I find happiness in whatever I do? Will I be healthy at the same time? Or will I find a desk job that swells me to the size of a char bacho wali ma? Will I find a hot-as-hell boyfriend? Will I move in with him or get married right away? Will I find a sexy-sexy husband or will I have to depend on my folks to hook me up with a rich balding guy who'll throw a lavish wedding in return for pressing his feet for the rest of my life and running towards him with a glass of water everytime he screams Lajo-Lajo(or whatever shady name he'll come up with) ?

So as of now, I basically feel like the dumpey protagonist, who is sitting on an arm chair wearing pink sweatpants, stuffing herself with her 48th bowl of chocolate ice-cream and listening to some very melancholy music, worrying herself sick about how and when and where and if and but , everything will fall into place.

But but but, since it is a chick-flick, everything has to get sorted out no? So let's say the gorgeous actress will wake up to find a swanky pink car in her garage, an appointment letter from Vogue sitting by her bedside and drop dead gorgeous boy, who has climbed in through the window to confess his undying love for her. The two of them will break into song and dance. The heavens will bring forth rain in the hot Summer. Everybody will live happily ever after!


And that my dear friends is the end of my story.
So long!
More wishful thinking later :D

*pokes Summer 2010 where it hurts the most*

Dear Summer 2010,

At first I couldn't wait for you to get here.
College drama was overwhelming.
I was in dire need of a sabbatical.
To cut myself from the all the people who meant nothing at all to me, but affected me anyway.
I wanted to drown myself in work so much so that the World I left behind was a distant memory.

Right now, I'm thinking about how I can't wait to get back to the normalcy of life.
May be that will be my sabbatical from this sabbatical gone wrong.
I need to wake up late.
Take an hour to get ready.
Shower 54 different colours on me.
Go sit on the second last bench against the wall.
Daydream with my eyes wide open.
Laugh like an ass at nothing at all.
Grumble about stale KC food.
Have showdowns over the lamest projects.
Bitch endless with A-a-sha.
Go shopping five times a week.
Make Firangi Paani plans that never materialise.
Aaaah!

And did I mention I need another sabbatical to cleanse my muddled up head of the boy drama thats happening.
Girl meets boy.
Boy disappears.
Girl meets boy.
Then he disappears.
Girl meets boys.
And then he dissapears AGAIN.
Girl meets boy.
She should knife poke him all over until he bleeds, scoop his eyes out, step on his hairy humungous feet and then pull all his hair out of his scalp.
But all she does is think about is how she wants to meet him again, lest he disappears.
I must stop living on a staple diet of movies like Love Aaj Kal and A Lot like Love.
NOW!


Until sample sales continue to make happy!

K-ay <3

Things I learned in the Recent Past

Most girls are so insecure. No matter how pretty, intelligent or popular they are, they'll continue to be threatened by other girls.
When it comes attention, they won't want to share it with anyone. Infact they don't even want to be in the same room as a girl who commands more attention than they do.

College drama never ends. Never.

Very few people can really be happy for you. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves or how they deserve your share of happiness and success, more than you do.

There are very few people who do good without expecting anything in return.

Sometimes you chase something only to realise it isn't worth it at all. And then you want to turn back. Your head and heart are in conflict. Your head tells not to give it up. You've fought too hard for it. Your heart tells you that if it doesn't make you happy, it isn't worth it at all. Listen to your heart. At the end of the day it is happiness that matters the most.