Quarter life crisis and sexy-sexy (non-existent) boyfriends!

My pumpkin pies!

I think Quarter life crisis has struck me bad! While it's obviously one of the worst things to happen, a teeny tiny part of me, loves how filmy it makes my life sound. Well, Chic-flickish to be precise. So grab a bowl of popcorn and listen to me rant rather dramatically about why the feeling of dumpey-ness has been shamelessly following me around.

Well, I used to think I was the 'girl with the plan'. I'm suddenly not so sure anymore. If I don't spend the rest of my life writing, my soul will die and disintegrate. But if I spend my entire life only writing and nothing else, then my self worth with die and disentegrate. I will wake up every morning, feeling like a useless, worthless, potato of a person who has done nothing. Achieved nothing! So I have a long list of other things that I simply have to do. But the list is so long that I don't know how I'm going to do all of it. If I pay more attention to one, I'll feel like I'm neglecting the other. If I try to do the thing I'm neglecting, there will be some fifty other things biting me slowly at the back of my head leading to a serious cause of mental explosion. And if I try to do justice to all of them, my entire being will die and disintegrate. All that and more before I'm old enough to suffer from mid-life crisis!

Omg! This system! So much pressure! I don't even know what PG program I am going to do next year. Or which Universities I should be looking at. Should I even be doing a PG program next year or should I jump to join the first company that offers me an amazing job? Should I work and then study? Study and then work? Or should I work, study and handle being a bag-wali side by side?

What about money? Will I make enough to live the life of a splurgina? Will I find happiness in whatever I do? Will I be healthy at the same time? Or will I find a desk job that swells me to the size of a char bacho wali ma? Will I find a hot-as-hell boyfriend? Will I move in with him or get married right away? Will I find a sexy-sexy husband or will I have to depend on my folks to hook me up with a rich balding guy who'll throw a lavish wedding in return for pressing his feet for the rest of my life and running towards him with a glass of water everytime he screams Lajo-Lajo(or whatever shady name he'll come up with) ?

So as of now, I basically feel like the dumpey protagonist, who is sitting on an arm chair wearing pink sweatpants, stuffing herself with her 48th bowl of chocolate ice-cream and listening to some very melancholy music, worrying herself sick about how and when and where and if and but , everything will fall into place.

But but but, since it is a chick-flick, everything has to get sorted out no? So let's say the gorgeous actress will wake up to find a swanky pink car in her garage, an appointment letter from Vogue sitting by her bedside and drop dead gorgeous boy, who has climbed in through the window to confess his undying love for her. The two of them will break into song and dance. The heavens will bring forth rain in the hot Summer. Everybody will live happily ever after!


And that my dear friends is the end of my story.
So long!
More wishful thinking later :D

Shopping List!

Every new month calls for a new shopping list. So now I'm just going to rant endlessly about all the silly little things I need to buy. Yes need. Because my existence seems meaningless without such material possessions. So if you have nothing useful to do right now, you can go over the shopping highlights of March 2010.

Jackets. I feel extremely jackety for some reason. I want long jackets, short jackets, sleeveless jackets, puff sleeved jackets, dull jackets, bright jackets, plain jackets, printed jackets, you name it.

Stockings. I want Black net stockings with a crazy print and I want it now!!!!! Do you hear me God? N.O.W. Oh and while you're at it, you can thrown one of each colour :D Stripped ones will also be appreciated.

Teeny tiny, yet very classy dresses to go with the stockings.

Juuuummmmmppppsuits! Everytime I see a girl wear a jumpsuit, my conscience screams, how dare you not possess one?! I'm usually so embarrassed I can't even face my closet for the next two hours.

Oh and loads and loads of pumps and Mary janes! I can't wear the stockings with chappals no?

Patiala. Green ones. And on sale preferably :P

Some very pretty puff sleeved blouses and pretty neck pieces to wear with them.

Of course I'd need a pair of new skinnies for the blouses. If I wear my old ones, the blouses will get offended na?

And finally some moneeeeyyyy!
And I give you a wonderful opportunity to contribute to "Lavender's Shopping Fund".
Click on the link to check out some pretty Indian bags that I'm retailing through my Blog and become one of the lucky winners to receive abundant blessings :D

The Secret.

I have heard so much about this book, but I could never get myself to buy a copy. It talks about the Law of Attraction, a secret I learned when I was 16. I used to use it a lot then. I managed to make a lot of things happen. But I also miserably failed while attempting the others. I lost Faith. And somewhere along the line, The law of Attraction was forgotten.

The other day I left home without a book. It was going to be a long day and I didn't think I'd survive without one. Just then I literally walked into a Book Stall on the street. Just when I gave up looking, The Secret caught my eye. I started to recollect the random conversations I have had regarding this book, with a lot people. Although I am familiar with the Law, I found myself curious, hopeful and in dire need to make some serious amends. I picked up a copy of the most life changing book I have read so far.

Well, I have been a changed person in the recent past. More accepting of myself, more in control of my emotions and happier than ever before. Yet, there were times I felt I needed to change some areas of my life, but I didn't have the power to make those amends. Do you see how the Universe works? The answer literally found me.

I am sure you are already familiar with the wishful thinking bit, so I thought I'd share the biggest stumbling block to happiness. For one we are as likely to attract the negative emotions, as we are to attract positive. So while I managed to attract the good things, I also attracted a lot of pain and distress, simply because I believed that pain and distress were the consequences of a particular action. I wallowed in pity, because I believed it would hurt. I had terrible experiences, because I believed the negativity would affect. There were times when I felt I wasn't adequate enough. But the you know what? I was. And if I had believed so myself, others would have too.

There were also things I things that I really wished would happen, or messed up things, I wished would work themselves out. But I was always so negative about it. I didn't believe it was in my hands and I blamed it on anything and everything I possibly could. Destiny, Karma, Past Life. You name it.

So I have firmly decided, that I'm not going to let anybody or anything, least of all my own delusional mind, decide the course of my Life. I'm going to buy myself a Golden Book and write down each and every chapter I want to see. Because it IS in my hands.