How to feel less dumpy 101

Dear ______(Insert favourite dessert here),
   Since, it's a Sunday afternoon and I don't particularly have any brunches or wine and cheese parties to attend. Detoxification and all that. Or the fact that I *never* get invited to one of those. I am going to sit here and share some very important gyaan with you. A dear friend of mine mailed me about about how she felt down in the dumps. Now, I am almost always trying to make my life sounds as awesome as I can possibly can. But I must admit, this dump-ey feeling hasn't spared me either. So before I reply to her mail, I dedicate this post to everybody who has absolutely worthless. Presenting how to feel less dump-ey 101.

Rule no #1. Chocolate is the God of foods. Depression always leads to emotional eating. Which leads to a not so attractive belly. Which further leads finding, a not attractive at all boy-frand! So find that piece of heaven. Preferable a dark chocolate one. You know, lesser calories and all of that. And promise yourself that one bar is *all* it takes.

Rule no #2. Yeh Rishtaaa kya kehlaaaa-taa hai! Heard that before? Vaguely? Indian soaps are the bestest no? Plop into the sofa, give your grandmommy company and prepare to be thoroughly entertained. When the the lead actress, acts( I use the term very loosely) oh-so-dramatic and voices her opinion on how she worries about women who don't wear sindhoors and mangal sutras, your problem will seem trivial!

Rule no #3. Open your eyes to technicoloured dreams. And this how I subtly do the PR for my blog. Ok fine, that was a shady one! Getting back to anti-dumpey-ness. Colours are therapeutic. They are mood uplifters. They are make the world as beautiful as it is. So that pair of cream shorts and grey sweatshirt goes where it belongs. The wastebin! Find the prettiest, most colourful dress. Match it with a super dhinchak pair of ballerinas. Watch that grin becoming bigger and bigger. I'm not sure guys should try this though. Govinda look alikes are not my type. Or anybody's type for that matter.

Rule no#4. Sales, freebies and discounts. The thrill of paying less for the same amount of stuff. Priceless! Go to the nearest mall, ask the salesperson, 'discount kis par milega' and voila! Happiness has been found.

Rule no#5. Google is God. My awesome friend Shreya from 'Such a Cow' has a thing for this Australian cricketers. I wont tell you his name because I'm frankly too cool to remember. But she googles his name every now and then to check out hot pictures, the world wide web has to offer. And when she is tired of leching at his images, she starts googling random phirangs. That girl, I tell you! Anyway, since sweat-soaked sportsmen are not my type, I urge to search images of Rajat Kapoor instead. *hearts skips a beat* Ain't I dramatic?

Rule no#6. It's time to be booty-ful. While Google is the God of pictures, Youtube is the God of videos. When I feel dumpey, I type two magical words- belly and dance. What follows is an hour long session of mirror entertainment. The sort that would earn me coins and coins in dollars and pounds. So I suggest you you google your favourite dance form and move to the awesome beats. If you are just not as gifted as I am, ganpati-visarjan dance videos are plenty. There is hope for everybody in this world.

Rule no#7. K-ay is awesome. Well everybody on blogspot seems to be talking about how awesome they are. I do not want to be left out in this race. I'd like to leave you with perhaps the most important rule. Keep visiting my blog every now and then. The gyaan you will find here will help you counteract all your grumpiness and dumpiness!


Until, cheesy lines continue to be the source of my inspiration!

xoxo

The Bubble of Happiness

When something really awesome happens, something else not so happens to break the Bubble of Happiness and give you a reality check basically. I have the liberty to come up with my own article ideas at work and upload them on the website. For an intern to be allowed to do that on her first day at work...very, very wow, no?

And just when I thought it's going to be all happy and smooth sailing with me endlessly ranting about celebs and gossip and fashion and everything that is of no importance to everyone, the happiness bubble is burst.

Apparently, my job doesn't end there. I have to learn to upload it on the site as well. Now you're smirking and telling yourself 'That's not such a big deal. We upload blog posts everyday'. Except, it isn't that simple. There's some software to be learned. And it's very complicated. You think they'd make a technically challenged girl who can't even use Microsoft Word properly do all of this?! The big bad world I tell you!

But then theory #2 (which I made up this very instant) says that right after the spoiler, there's an awesome un-spoiler. So I'm sitting slumped looking at my computer screen wondering, omg how am I ever going to learn this, I spot his itam (read:eye candy) in the periphery of my vision. Slowly and steadily the corner of my lips curl. Eye candy in the office. Woohoo!

Two minutes later Itam walks towards our side of the office. Four minutes later boss introduces us and magic happens. Through his black rimmed glasses and my grey rimmed glasses, our eyes meet and then everything stops for a moment, music plays in the background, and my stole flies a little before he smiles and suddenly says hi.

Then happiness bubble which was soaring way, way beyond the ceiling of the office goes pop. Apparently, he didn't belong to this office. Didn't belong to any office, I think. He had come there with some shady looking film-maker friend of his to show us a film they had made.

First, I see the glasses. Second, I see this very, very saxy (not sexy, sAxy) beard. Third, I see nice grey shirt, then I come to know he's filamwala. What can I say, I was very, very impressed. So impressed that I was on the verge of grinning to myself like an idiot. Happiness bubble started to soar again. Make hay while the sun shines, right? :D

And then we watched the movie. We, as in not the two of us, the entire office and then more brownie points were mentally given to Itam. After that everyone sat and discussed the movie. Well I didn't have much to say except for may be 'wow' so I just shut up and listened. Not too much conversation happened. But it so happens that Itam will be coming soon again. And that is the happy ending to my story.

P.S. Happiness bubble is still soaring :D

P.P.S. Of course a lot of description is HIGHLY exaggerated.

P.P.P.S. Itam if you accidentally landed up on my blog and read this, don't hold it against me. Just don't!

Things I learned in the Recent Past

Most girls are so insecure. No matter how pretty, intelligent or popular they are, they'll continue to be threatened by other girls.
When it comes attention, they won't want to share it with anyone. Infact they don't even want to be in the same room as a girl who commands more attention than they do.

College drama never ends. Never.

Very few people can really be happy for you. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves or how they deserve your share of happiness and success, more than you do.

There are very few people who do good without expecting anything in return.

Sometimes you chase something only to realise it isn't worth it at all. And then you want to turn back. Your head and heart are in conflict. Your head tells not to give it up. You've fought too hard for it. Your heart tells you that if it doesn't make you happy, it isn't worth it at all. Listen to your heart. At the end of the day it is happiness that matters the most.