What not to do when walking down the road.

Hello lovely people,

It is amazing how the urge to blog is so strong when all I should be doing is burying my nose in my books and forgetting that there is a World that exists outside of where I live. Since this two track mind of mine chooses to do nothing more productive than daydream about what to eat in the next break or what to buy on the next shopping expedition, which as you know is the most integral part of my life, I’ve decided to shut my books and do something more productive with my life. They say there is no greater joy that the joy of sharing knowledge. Certain experiences in life have opened my eyes. And today, my dear readers, I am going to give to share with you the knowledge of ‘What not to do when waking on the road!’

Bursting into song while walking may not be the best thing to do if you’re walking with a friend. They will stop in their tracks, turn around and walk away so fast that you will left alone singing to yourself. And you know what that makes you? A loony!

If your daily adventures involve screaming ‘Aaaaaaaaaaa’ while crossing the road, as if you are having a near death experience, the results are worse. Your friends will swear by every idol in the temple, that they will henceforth never be seen with you in public.

If the sheer joy of bumping into a friend you haven’t seen in twenty four hours, makes you want to run towards them and scream ‘itaaaaam’, you must learn to exercise self control. The Rajus, Munnas and even Harilals on the pathway assume you’re screaming out them and start blushing almost instantaneously as they hand comb their hair in the rare view mirror of the nearest car.

Apparently, singing songs like ‘Billo Rani’ and ‘Kajra Re’ produce similar results.

If you have the irresistible urge to break into dance and you know you’re going to be disowned as you were, for singing out loud, always remember you live in a country where dancing on the streets is as commonplace men peeing on the railway tracks. If it’s not Ganesh Chaturty or Navratri, then it’s surely got to be somebody’s wedding day. What’s better than to join a crazy bunch of baraatis as they set the streets on fire? And while you’re at it, please, please don’t forget it’s an Indian wedding; nobody needs to know who you are because they will assume you belong to the other side. So make sure you attend the wedding as well and fill your plates with piles and piles of food before hitting the dessert counter.

Clicking pictures on the road is alright. Finding absurd locations like dampened walls and ancient looking buildings and then posing against them as if you were doing a photoshoot for Harper’s Bazaar is not. The kids on the street come running towards you, and surround you as if a real shoot is going on. Before you know, the tinier ones will be crawling up the photographer’s legs in an attempt to get his attention and convince him to take their pictures. Never mind that he is probably using the most obsolete digital camera that exists.

While indulging in acts of dog calling (male version of cat calling) refrain from screaming out lines like ‘kya maal hai’ by merely seeing the back of an ‘object’ (as I would like to refer to them). Sometimes, as these objects turn, the frontal view might shock you beyond belief.

And as I complete this very meaningful blogpost, I feel rather smug about having shared the kind of life changing experiences that nobody on blog spot has ever shared. Ever.

Now you can go to the comments section of this post and share with me how these words of wisdom have made a significant difference in your lives.